Satire
House Democrat Resigns After Socks Clash on Capitol Steps
Following video released showing him walking up the steps to the Capitol wearing socks that don’t match, House Representative Mark Warrington has announced he will be stepping down.
The video, which has gained 74 million views, shows the now disgraced congressman almost gaining entrance to Congress dressed in one black sock, and one of a slightly lighter shade. It’s clear from the video that this is not a matching pair.
Calls for his resignation were swift, with outraged Republicans demanding he step down even before the video had finished playing.
“No one who sees this footage won’t be justifiably outraged,” said Lauren Boebert. “The idea that a member of Congress almost made it into the halls of our most sacred institution in socks that don’t match is stunning.”
Kevin McCarthy called for an immediate inquiry and for all Democrats in Congress to be deported. “I don’t feel safe around this sort of haphazard tailoring and I know the American people feel the same way,” he said.
Josh Hawley agreed, calling it an infringement on sartorial decency. “I think stepping down is the least he should do. If I were Representative Warrington, I’d shoot myself.”
Announcing his resignation, Warrington said he was “rattled” after being chased by an angry mob incited by Marjorie Taylor Green and didn’t notice his socks were mismatched when he took them out of the drawer.
“Now is a time for self-reflection. I plan to spend the next few weeks with my family and take a good hard look at myself. The road to repair is long, but the journey begins today with matching socks,” he said, proudly displaying a pair of socks identical in color.
